No, no, seriously – I really mean it. Stop reading NOW. It’s for your own good. This blog post will not change your life, it will not help get you a job if you don’t already have one, and it will not increase your productivity if you do. And, unlike some blog posts you may have read here on Creativepool, it does not contain an interesting interview, nor does it offer job-seeking advice – or, indeed, offer any opinions of any significant value. In short, it is five minutes of your life you will never get back. It will, however, make you more attractive to the opposite sex…
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Posts Tagged ‘Morrison’
Eye jewellery: the look you’re looking for?
Monday, April 4th, 2011
Eye jewellery. Jewels in your eyes. Yes, I said JEWELS IN YOUR EYES. Apparently, it’s out there. Turns out that I (and everyone else I’ve asked) must be behind the times because I only heard about this last week and yet there was a warning about it on a news website in 2004. At least that means it hasn’t really taken off, I suppose – which is just as well because it actually makes me feel queasy just thinking about it. So perhaps my decision to blog about it is akin to immersion therapy, because for me this would be like a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Or worse.
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In-Car Technology: Driving You Sane
Monday, March 21st, 2011
I must admit that I’m a bit of a car geek – but that doesn’t necessarily mean I just drool over supercars. I even love modest cars – and have been the very fond and proud owner of a relatively humble Ford Focus for nearly 11 years. But now that it’s coming to the end of its serviceable life and I’m looking around at what I can get for my wonga, I’m becoming more and more amazed at the technological advancement of driving aids over the past few years.
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Ticking the right [equal opportunities] box
Monday, March 14th, 2011
Getting your ideal job (or any job, come to that) can be a real uphill struggle in the current economic climate. But is it any harder if you have a disability? Equal opportunities statements might well be printed in black and white at the bottom of application forms, but realistically, do they actually count for anything? When rejecting a perfectly well-qualified applicant, it’s very easy to trot out the phrase ‘there was someone with more directly relevant experience than you’. Nobody will be any the wiser as to whether that is the real reason or not; it’s impossible to prove. So in our evermore touchy-feely society, is having a disability in the current job market any less of a stigma now than it once was?
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Job Application Hell. Welcome to my world
Monday, February 7th, 2011
Trying to find a new job ‘in the current economic climate’ (to trot out the phrase of a half-decade) is no small undertaking. Whether you register with an agency or reply to an ad in The Guardian or specialist publications – or the Creativepool website, come to that – the chances are you are one of several hundred all gunning for one position.
If you don’t tick every darn box – and then some – you can pretty much wave goodbye to your chances of success unless you happen to know someone who knows someone. And woe betide the applicant who allows anything so heinous as a misspelling to creep into their CV or covering letter. The rules for employers, however, are very different. They can get away with murder, which, coincidentally, is what I’d like to get away with when I receive a particularly annoying reason for rejection and/or a clear fob-off.
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Bl**dy b*gger to you, you beastly b**tard
Monday, January 10th, 2011
You can’t fail to be aware of the Oscar buzz surrounding the film The King’s Speech, which opened on 7 January at cinemas all over the country. As a lifelong stammerer myself, I was intrigued and possibly slightly nervous at how the film would turn out. The trailer was moving and comical in equal parts – the latter because of the unorthodox and now dated therapy techniques used by speech therapist Lionel Logue. These days, techniques have moved on considerably. But what about technology? Has it actually improved life for stammerers, or does the best therapy come from within?
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2012 Olympics, you lost us the 2018 World Cup
Monday, December 6th, 2010
For sports fans, the news that Prince William, sandwiched between the two Davids, did not bring the 2018 World Cup to the UK last week was a bit of a disappointment. There are a lot of question marks surrounding the reasons why we lost out to Russia on being the host nation – and reduced to a basic level, these amount to the UK committee sneering over their shoulders in a corner of the playground saying things like, “I mean, like, he SO said he was gonna vote for us! That’s well out of order, innit? D’ya know what I mean!” But there is one possible reason which I’ve thought of, and I don’t know if it’s occurred to anyone else…
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Top 20 Worst Album Covers
Tuesday, November 16th, 2010
When was the last time you bought a CD? I wouldn’t be surprised if it was quite a while ago, as these days iTunes seems to be the most popular choice in our busy, download-heavy lives. That’s certainly the place I tend to head to first for most of my music needs – instant or otherwise. But when I was in Oxford Street this morning, whiling away some time in HMV, it occurred to me that maybe I was missing out on some of the music-purchasing experience by buying albums as MP3s. How? By not having a CD booklet to idly leaf through.
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How to annoy me in one word
Monday, November 8th, 2010
Yours sincerely. Kind regards. Yours faithfully. Three of my favourite letter sign-offs. But there is one sign-off which I simply cannot abide. It’s four harmless little letters and, when standing alone, they represent a jolly nice superlative. But alone as a letter sign-off (or a text sign-off) they make me want to punch someone; usually the author. Those four little letters are: ‘Best’. Best WHAT? If it’s anything other than best WISHES, then what the heck is it? Surely time is not so precious that the author cannot manage to spare a few more nanoseconds from their mobile-answering, BlackBerry-replying, latte-filled lifestyle to type six measly extra letters. And if it’s not best WISHES, then what the bejaysus is it that they’re saying? Best in class? Best was a very good footballer, if a bit of an alkie? Best go to bed now or you’ll be grumpy in the morning? Put me out of my misery and finish your goddam sign-off!
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Kit Kat: 75 years of advertising
Monday, November 1st, 2010
Have a break – have a Kit Kat. A simple, effective, dead-on-target advertising slogan which is probably one of the most widely-known anywhere. Part of the fun of a Kit Kat for me was always scoring my thumb along the silver wrapper in between two of the sticks to get that satisfying first break. And the fact that they’re in sticks means you don’t feel you have to wolf it down all in one go like you might do with a Mars which I often have to perch on its own torn wrapper on my desk (and which does not, I have found out, help me work, rest or play – a case for Trading Standards, maybe?) This year, Rowntree’s of York celebrates 75 years of the Kit Kat, so I thought I’d take a look at some of the advertising posters and have picked out my two favourite TV commercials.
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